Worst Fitness Gimmicks of 2009

5.  "Vibration Plates

"Vibrate your way to a WHOLE NEW LIFE!"

Marketing

There are a few companies which produce vibration plate machines for a variety of users.  Some of these companies produce products geared for high end gyms, athlete training and rehabilitation amongst other uses.

Regardless of the actual scientific valid uses of any fitness machine, if it looks cool and it has a use for someone, it can be the ticket to a whole new life in minutes a day, and that is how vibration machines became one of the worst fitness gimmicks of 2009.

Marketed as a machine in which you simply have to stand or sit on for x minutes a day to get results is the recipe for 2 things:  1.  Making a lot of money off people who don't know the any better and 2.  Being laughed years down the road as a worthless gimmick.  For the people who bought paint can shaker belts in the mid 1900s to lose weight, a vibration plate may be the next step.  Only time will tell.

 Product

Vibration plate machines come in many shapes and sizes.  Most have a plate which covers a motor and some sort of handlebars coming up.

Many exercises can be performed off the plate just as they can be performed on the floor for (unproven) added benefit but exercises is not what people want to do.

You will often see people standing, sitting, and lying motionless on these vibration plates in which the only thing that is moving is the fat jiggling on their bodies.

Althogh useful in some situations vibration machines are one of the worst fitness gimmicks because of the marketing and the idea that vibration does anything better than standard weight training and cardio exercises.

What also makes vibration plate machines one of the worst fitness gimmicks of 2009 is the price which ranges from expensive to astronomical.

Price Vibration Plate Exercise Machines on Amazon.com

4.  Neckline Slimmer

"The First Resistance Toning System for the Neck, Chin & Face"
 

Marketing

Even exercising small muscles which do not directly relate to exercises in the gym deserve a mention in the worst fitness gimmicks.

The myth of spot reduction come into play as they claim the neckline slimmer tightens skin by working the underlying muscles.

The commercial mentions nothing about weight loss to reduce overall body fat levels seemingly sending subliminal messages to overweight people who think this nodding gadget will get rid of their double or triple chin.

The final and most important selling point of this fitness gimmick is that it gives results in "as little as 2 minutes a day" which is almost required to sell any gadget related to building muscle or losing fat in 2009 and before.

Product

Only those who inexplicitly spent the $19.99 to buy the plastic covered sprig known as the Neckline Slimmer will be able to tell you how long it took for it to get thrown in that box destined towards the attic or dump.

For now all you can do is watch the commercial over and over again and nod your head to reduce your triple chin in 2 minutes a day.

Price the Neckline Slimmer on Amazon.com

3.  Fitness Disc

"The Premiere Workout System"
 

Marketing

You can see on the shopping channel commercial below all you need to know about the fitness disc.  They have the former pro bodybuilder and fitness model talking about how he uses it which of course is basically saying that if you buy one of these pieces of junk you will be fit

A rotating disc to stand on with a bar which splits in two is marketed to be a "full body" or "total body" workout that targets the problem areas when in fact it is nothing more than a 100% complete waste of money.

Product

The disc simply rotates when your twist your legs which is exactly what has been out for 20+ years.  This time it has a bar in the middle which comes off and splits in two.

You can twist to your delight as you wave your arms around like you're missing an X chromosome.

The only thing more shocking than the utter worthlessness of the Frank Sepe fitnss disc is the price which is a downright joke.

Price the Frank Sepe Fitness Disc on Amazon.com

2.  Shake Weights

"The Rapid Short and Powerful Thrust of the Shake Weight Ignites Muscular Activity in your Entire Upper Body!"
 

Marketing

Six minutes a day is all you need to get the body of your dreams with the shake weight!

Watching the commercials you will see how the women's video states they are "designed specifically for women" and it repeats everything women want to hear while the men's video shows basically the same exercises yet says completely different things geared towards men.

Shake weights claim to use "Revolutionary new technology called dynamic inertia" which is a statement that probably has Galileo turning in his grave.  Claiming to do 240 reps per minute is another asinine statement because holding a static position is an isometric contraction which is a single repetition as long as the joint angle is maintained.

Product

While shake weights may not be 100% worthless everything claimed in their marketing is complete utter nonsense to put it lightly.  The videos basically saying you will look the models in 6 minutes a day is the classic way to sell fitness products to the ignorant man or woman sitting on the couch with a remote control and a credit card.

As you can see the shake weights are nothing more than a weight suspended by springs in between the 2 ends of a dumbbell which if shakes force your muscles to hold a static contraction.  The problem with the idea is regardless if the weight is shaking or not, it is still a static contraction which only has affects at that joint angle.  You could hold the same angle without any shake weights and contract your muscles to get the same muscle work.

Interestingly enough, while not marketed this way, the shake weights could provide a nice tool for trainers and personal trainers who specialize in rehabilitation as they could be used for strengthening the muscles which strengthen joints.  The Bodyblade was another product some years ago which was marketed similar to the shake weights as a "minutes a day" gimmick but has been used extensively in rehab situations.

Price the Similar Bodyblade on Amazon.com

1.  Surgery & Implants

Those who Can't use the Fork & Knife properly, simply go Under the Knife
 

Marketing

While there may be commercials from plastic surgeons on your local television there is not as much in your face direct marketing for cosmetic procedures designed to change your body.

Pick up any pop culture magazine, watch reality TV shows, or even your local news and stories of common as well as bizarre cosmetic procedures were on the rise in 2009.  Starting with botox and collagen for the face people then often hear about procedures such as butt implants, to calf implants, to ab implants (pictured) to liposuction.

The most enticing thing about surgery and implants is the benefits seem to be instantaneous.  No 12 week long workout programs and low calorie diet required.  No sweating for 2 hours a day in the gym or refraining from eating the foods you want, you go to sleep, wake up with a new physique.

Service

While cosmetic procedures designed to improve the way your body looks may seem harmless and simple they rarely are.

Cosmetic surgery is just that, surgery which is very invasive and unhealthy for your physical health. 

Popular new cosmetic procedures cost astronomical amounts of money also raise the likelihood a doctor with little or no experience in the specific surgery and/or implant getting blinded by the earning potential and cause more harm than good with botched surgeries.

Regardless of whether the surgery is "successful" or not, there is still an often painful recovery process that is never as pleasant as you were told.

If the surgery turns out to be unsuccessful what's next?  You guessed, more surgery as corrective surgery is often just as profitable for plastic surgeons.

Also See

Top 5 Worst Fitness Gimmicks of All-Time

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